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Stress-Relief and Inspiration Blog

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Why Are You Doing What You’re Doing?

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I love when I take a vacation week. I stop a lot of my “busyness” and I trade it for extra naps, walking, writing, dancing and meditating. Awesome! I remember a particular vacation when a cool thing happened; I felt like I found myself again. Interesting, since I had not even realized I was missing. Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever feel like you are going day by day making it through all the routines of work or home on auto-pilot, and all of a sudden you notice you are hardly even there? I think it happens even more for people who are not enjoying their usual routine. I enjoy most of my routines. I love the people I get to be home with and I love the people I get to work with. I love what I do for work and I love what I do for play—when I take the time to play. But even though I enjoy many of the routines of my daily life, doing those things on auto-pilot is so much different from doing them consciously, by choice. Auto-pilot mode sucks the life out of us.

I start going on auto-pilot when I feel tired and overdone. It’s my protective mode when I feel fried. And I feel more fried, tired and overdone when I rush around on auto-pilot. It’s one of those nasty downward spirals that adds to stress. While it’s true that a week off from work can help get me back, I don’t have to wait for vacations to remember to be present, and therefore to be more fulfilled and happy, both at home and at work. Neither do you! So here is a provocation to help bring relief and fullness back to your days when you may need it. Throughout the week ask yourself why you are doing whatever you are doing. If the first answer is “To get done,” or “Because I have to,” then ask again and again until you feel your heart move back into the answer.

Here is an example when I was writing one of my weekly “Blurbs.”

“Why am I doing this?”

“Because I write these on Tuesdays.”

“Why do I do that?”

“Because that’s the day I send it out to people.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“Because it is my highest intention and great hope that it will uplift or benefit someone in some way. And because I always feel happy and proud of myself when I complete one.”

Ah, yes—that is why. You can do the same thing with anything you are working on whether personal or professional simply by asking until once again you feel the real reason, the primary reason, the heartfelt reason why you are doing it all anyway.

“Why do I do these things that sometimes feel like ‘too much’?”

“Because I love being the best mom I can be.”

“Because I feel great when my house is clean and beautiful.”

“Because I am happy when there are wonderful groceries and healthy dinners to eat.”

“Because I really like doing my job well.”

“Because it feels awesome to have a strong body.”

“Because I love to feel my spiritual connection.”

“Because it rocks to get paid for doing my work.”

“Because I feel proud of providing for my family.”

“Because I love helping people.”

The list can go on and on. When you bring your heart back into why you actually do what you do—then simplicity, relief, fullness, love and well-being move into and through your day to day routines. That for me is worth the effort!




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Feeling Frisky

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, August 09, 2017

When people talk about “stress reduction” what usually comes up first are things like breathing, meditation, yoga, relaxation or massage. I love those things! They can bring such a wonderful sense of peacefulness and nurturing as they move us away from the fast-paced, incessant “busyness” of continually having too much to do. But there is another really important part of true stress reduction and self-care. That's the part I want to focus on in this week’s provocation. Do you ever have times when it feels like the real problem isn’t just all the hurrying and rushing, but that it may also be the squishing, deadening, or sleepiness you feel from having lived for days, weeks, months or longer without feeling truly awake, inspired, frisky or alive? Without these...without the powerful childlike qualities of feeling excited about life, being playful and imaginative, feeling drawn to accomplish great things, and being passionate about new adventures, stress reduction processes will only be a shadow of what they could be. 


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How Food Feels

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, August 02, 2017

There are so many foods we are supposed to stay away from, or at least limit, according to experts in the industry. Depending on which dietitian, nutritionist, physician, book, or PBS special you are currently in alignment with, here are some of the possible things to steer clear from: fats, red meat, all meat, carbs, anything not organic, anything not locally grown, all processed foods, MSG, hydrogenated oils, dairy, salty snacks, sugary snacks, alcohol, corn syrup, any grain that is not a whole grain, white anything (flour, rice, bread, sugar, pasta), preservatives and on and on. But I have an idea.


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Being Your Own Good Parent

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Friday, July 21, 2017

My son, Nikolas, recently got his black belt in Taekwondo. It was a pretty big deal and we are all really, really proud of him! And way more importantly – he’s really proud of himself and feels great about it. It took him 5 years. He did the work, and took the effort, and made the choice to do his best and to have a good attitude when he was at the classes… and it showed during the testing. But here’s what I also know: I had a big part in getting him to the classes – sometimes when he really didn’t want to go; and in financing the classes – sometimes when I didn’t really want to watch the money go out. 


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What’s Your Story?

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, July 12, 2017

When you talk about the big areas of your life, what do you say? In terms of your health, money, relationships, personal/spiritual growth, time, work and play what are the stories you tell about them? They don’t feel like “stories.” We experience them as facts. So asked another way, what are the facts you know to be true in regard to those big life areas?  


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Being Valued

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, July 05, 2017

I like listening to the CDs from Success Magazine. They are always full of really great stuff. I listened to one with a gentleman named Tony Schwartz as he was talking about the importance of being valued—of feeling valued. He said that feeling valued was as important to our emotional energy as sleep, nutrition and exercise are to our physical energy. Wow. I believe it.  


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Trying Less

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, June 14, 2017

I think we try too much. Too hard, too often, too much. We even try to relax. The word “trying” conjures up a certain picture for me which feels very different from things like ease, strength, simplicity, clarity, power and focus. Do you ever notice that sometimes “trying” can feel like heavy, endless effort…because if you are still trying to do something then you obviously haven’t succeeded?  


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The Difficult Art of Self-Forgiveness

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I was thinking about forgiveness. Whether we practice it or not, most of us have heard of the importance and benefits of forgiving people. It’s not about liking or condoning negative, abusive or unhealthy behavior; it’s simply about forgiving the person because it doesn’t serve us (or anyone) to hold onto the hurt and judgment. Most counseling practices, spiritual traditions, universal philosophies, and personal growth processes eventually lead us back to the art of forgiving. But sometimes I think we go about it backwards.  


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Personal Mission Statements

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I wonder what would happen if we all created a personal mission statement for our lives. And then chose to remember it throughout the day even at work or with the kids. I wonder if we would feel as frantic, stressed, worried or bored? I wonder if we would still move through the days on autopilot as so many of us often do? What would your mission statement be about?  


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Life is Good and is Always For Us

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Saturday, April 08, 2017

I know I can be Pollyanna. I like that about me. I like that it feels true to the very core of my being that good is possible, positive change is possible, healing is possible, love is possible. In all situations, at all junctures, good is. I know we don’t always act on it and I know that many people are hurting. I do know that. And at the same time the possibility to experience good at any moment, on many different levels, is always present. 


About the Author

Blogger Dr. Darcy Lord

Dr. Darcy Lord received her Ph.D. from The Ohio State University in Somatic Education which addresses the mind-body-spirit connection. She has been a speaker, trainer, and consultant for over twenty-five years, guiding groups and individuals toward their own empowerment and well-being. Book Darcy Today!