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Difficult Situations

By Dr. Darcy Lord - Tuesday, January 09, 2018
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Sometimes things happen that seem unfair or unethical. I have had people that I love, respect and admire feel like this. It’s hard to watch as their hearts are in pain—seemingly because of the actions of others. Have you ever had something like that happen? When you feel you don’t have control over something that truly feels wrong to you? It could be behaviors of your own children, co-workers, parents, governments, banks, health-care systems, siblings, mentors, supervisors, spouses, clergy, etc. I had it happen once at a place I worked. Going through it feels gross.

But here is what I propose. Life is good and is always FOR us. Always. Even when it doesn’t seem to be. This week’s provocation is for if or when you are having difficulty with a situation that seems out of your control. You can use these tools to more gracefully move through a past situation as well. When something feels difficult, unfair or not controllable by you, first and foremost be soft and nurturing with yourself. Truly, that is the first step. Then go through the three activities below and see if any resonate with you. If they do, use them gently.

Provocation #1. Before you fall asleep at night focus on the feeling that is opposite of the difficulty you are experiencing. For example, if you are watching a family member being hurtful to themselves or to someone else, try to get to the feelingof how good it feels when harmony, respect and safe boundaries are practiced by the people you love. If someone at work or church is being unethical, practice the feeling of how wonderful it is to be around people you trust, who act with high levels of integrity. If your heart hurts because you are distant from someone you love, focus on how good it feels when you simply love and appreciate them. If someone has taken something from you, you could practice how much you love feeling safe and feeling like you have more than enough of everything you need to make life happy and fulfilling. It’s not about the words; it’s about getting to the feeling that brings relief. It takes energy and effort to get to the opposite feeling, but that’s the important part.

Provocation #2. Take 5 or 10 minutes to sit quietly and ask yourself, "Am I being called from somewhere within me to say something, take a stand or otherwise try to change the situation here?" Gently notice what emerges when you ask yourself. No guilt. No pressure. Just ask.

Provocation #3. Ask yourself, "Is this another indication that it’s time for me to move on, leave or make some changes in my own life?” Again, just ask yourself and see what happens inside you. As with #2 give yourself some quiet time to listen within and reflect on whatever answers emerge.

If any of those three provocations call to you, go through the activity for a whole week. As things begin to shift—and they will—remember to be gentle and loving with you and with any others involved. Some of my most positive and empowering changes occurred directly as a result of me making it through what seemed like the most difficult situations. This week’s provocations take courage and effort. Be gentle and kind with you as you play with them. We are such wonderfully bright, loving and empowered beings. It takes our intentions and our conscious choices to make it through difficult situations in such a way that we grow and gain goodness from them instead of closing our hearts or being squished up by them. Your beautiful life is worth that. So is mine.


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Blogger Dr. Darcy Lord

Dr. Darcy Lord received her Ph.D. from The Ohio State University in Somatic Education which addresses the mind-body-spirit connection. She has been a speaker, trainer, and consultant for over twenty-five years, guiding groups and individuals toward their own empowerment and well-being. Book Darcy Today!