Does this ever happen to you? I woke up with a total food hangover. The night before, Chris and I ate at a restaurant commonly accused of using monosodium glutamate (MSG) in lots of their foods. Granted, MSG makes my food taste totally wonderful and salty and just the right spiciness. But… it also keeps me awake for hours, makes my sleep light and weird when I finally do fall asleep, and makes me really puffy in the morning. (Nice!)
Then when we got home (already late) Chris made us each a brownie hot fudge sundae which I decided to eat Mindfully, fully basking in and enjoying every insanely delicious bite. Until the end… when my belly wanted to be done, but my mouth wanted more. So I stopped being Mindful and I ate the last of it anyway.
Thus, along with my MSG puffiness and fatigue from crappy sleep, I also felt like I had a big heavy brick in my belly.
But what accompanies those physical sensations is always worse: regret for having made those choices. Sad, quiet, mostly under the radar subtle feelings of disappointment and regret and sadness and self-flogging. The visual is me getting a tired, disappointed, disapproving look on my face and subtly shaking my head in a way that says, “Why would you do that again? I’m so sick of trying with you.” Yuk.
I’m writing a book on Self-Love. An important principle that I keep coming back to is that our whole day (our whole world, actually) will go significantly better if we start each day by doing 2 things before we take any other action steps: first, do something, anything that is simply kind to you (i.e. a Self-Love practice); second, check in for any Inner Guidance that you can hear or feel.
As I started reaching for my computer to write this Self-Care Provocation – with tired puffy eyes and full heavy belly and regret for having done it to myself – I remembered that important principle and decided to follow it. I thought through a few of the Self-Love practices I’ve been writing about, and I decided on the Hawaiian prayer/mantra meditation: Ho’oponopono. It’s a 4-sentence prayer/mantra that you repeat over and over until you feel complete.
I know by body loves touch so, rubbing my hands across my belly, I said the Ho’oponopono phrases over and over. Slowly…as if really talking to my belly,
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
Over and over, gently rubbing my belly (like I used to do all the time so lovingly when Nikolas was in there growing 😊). “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” Oh my goodness… how amazing and miraculous to feel the regret and disapproval and disappointment melt into soft, loving, self-compassion for me and my beautiful belly and body. Even though the full heavy feeling was still there! Wow…beautiful.
And then I put my computer down and pulled out my journal, because for me that’s one of the easiest ways I can hear my Inner Guidance. And when I did that, it became obvious that this was the topic I wanted to write about today. Cool.
You deserve to be kind to you no matter your choices. If and when you feel disapproval or regret or disappointment or madness or sadness for ANY choice you make today… be kind to you by saying the Ho’oponopono phrases, over and over. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” And see if anything shifts.
With great love,
Darcy